Thursday, January 12, 2012

Pushing 30

It’s back, it’s back, it’s baaaaaaaack! Yes, “30 Rock” and My Fake TV Wife Tina Fey are finally back on my television, where they belong. It’s been a long, long, long, long, long eight months without my Tina on my TV. I’ve coped mostly through a series of deep breathing exercises and also alcohol. Of course, tonight is also the return of “Parks and Recreation,” and this time back-to-back with “30 Rock” at 8 and 8:30. It’s like I died and went to smart, hilarious female-fronted comedy heaven.

Now, I know some of you (perhaps many of you) may still be harboring strong feelings about the show, Tina and her co-star Tracy Morgan from this summer. He said horrible, terrible, despicable things. And that should not be taken lightly. But a) he did apologize profusely, b) he is not the whole show, and c) he is kind of a certified idiot. Not kidding about that last one. I’ve met him and his is straight-up not entirely correct in the head. So I truly believe that he doesn’t actually believe the things he said about gay people. He just thought it would be funny to say the things he said about gay people. Still horrible. Still terrible. Still despicable. But I am not going to punish the whole show, which has been embraced and been honored for its LGBT inclusiveness, and I’m not going to punish Tina, who is Tina and you know loves us unconditionally, because of that idiot. But that’s how I feel about it, and not necessarily how you feel about it. Which I understand. Life is messy sometimes.

But, anyway, back to Tina. My adorable, adorable Tina was on Jimmy Fallon this week to promote the new season. And she was, as predicted, adorable. And we get a clip of the premiere, now with bonus dickies.


p.s. Oh, Tina, flashing your bra and your adult diapers at me already. It’s good to have you back.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Bouncing bundle of B

And on the seventh day of the year 2012, it was said that a savior was born. A child of such pedigree its very presence could bring peace and prosperity to our planet. For behold and bow before Blue Ivy Carter. OK, fine, I don’t really care that much that Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s über baby has arrived. But I like Beyoncé. And I like Jay-Z. And we all know their baby girl will be President of the United States in 35 years. So, you know, it never hurts to start sucking up early. Also, if little Blue is anywhere near as talented as her mama and papa, well, perhaps the world is truly blessed after all. Welcome, Tiny B. I know no one likes to hear this about a parent, but, damn, your mom is hot like fire. LIKE FIRE.


p.s. Yes, this is the only kind of math I truly like.
p.p.s. And yes, this is yet another song off my mix tape. Apparently I will not stop until I’ve written about every last number.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Straight Gals talking to Gay Gals


Straight gals, god bless ’em. But, let’s face it, sometimes they can be a little, well, like straight gals. And sometimes that means saying asinine things to gay gals. But that’s OK, straight gals. We love you anyway. But, no, we won’t be in a threesome with you and your boyfriend. Unless, that is, you are really hot. And your boyfriend isn’t in the room at all. What? That’s just some shit gay gals say to straight gals. Truth.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Out darling

To every lesbian alive in the 70s and 80s, your gaydar was right. On Friday, teen idol Kristy McNichol came out. Pause for the sound of lesbians everywhere screaming, “I KNEW IT!” Yes, the lesbian equivalent of David Cassidy is, in fact, a lesbian. Still, it’s a wonder anyone with eyes was surprised by this news. I mean, come on.

Now, as celebratory and vindicated as this news makes me feel, I must confess that Kristy wasn’t necessarily my girl crush back in the day. I was too young to enjoy her teen movie queen years. And then I never watched her later TV resurgence. Quite frankly, I was more of a Nancy McKeon girl, myself. (p.s. Nancy, if you feel like making any late-in-life announcements, a grateful nation of lesbians will thank you.) But Kristy’s announcement is still just fantastic news, as is her reasoning, which her publicist told People magazine was to “be open about who I am” and hopes her coming out “can help kids who need support.” Granted, the kids being bullied probably are too young to know who the hell Kristy McNichol is. But that doesn’t matter because every coming out makes a difference, every coming out helps make the world a little better. No matter early or late in life, it all helps. Kristy, who is 49, has been with her partner for the last 20 years. Nicely done, darling.

And, speaking of darling, how prescient did “Little Darlings” turn out to be? I swear, Kristy in that black tank top turned a whole generations of teens into baby dykes. Also, Kristy and Cynthia Nixon were both in that movie and turned out to be gay. If Tatum O'Neal comes out then perhaps we were wrong all along – it is contagious.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Colorado Student Banned from Yearbook Over Racy Photo

 

A Colorado teenager whose yearbook picture was rejected for being too revealing is vowing to fight the ban with her high school’s administration, but the editors of the yearbook insist it was their decision alone on the photo.

The five student editors of the Durango High School yearbook in Durango, Col., told the Durango Herald they were the ones who made the call not to publish a picture of senior Sydney Spies posing in a short yellow skirt midriff and shoulder-exposing black shawl as her senior portrait.
“We are an award-winning yearbook. We don’t want to diminish the quality with something that can be seen as unprofessional,” student Brian Jaramillo told the paper on Thursday.
Spies was joined by her mother, Miki Spies, and a handful of fellow Durango High students and alumni in a protest outside the school Wednesday after, she said, administrators informed her the photo would not be permitted because it violated dress code.
“I feel like they aren’t allowing me to have my freedom of expression,” Spies told the Herald.  ”I think the administration is wrong in this situation, and I don’t want this to happen to other people.”
The five editors, who said their decision was unanimous, said Spies’ blame was misplaced, in both targeting the administration, and believing that it was a dress code issue.
They also offered her an opportunity to include the photo in the yearbook, just not as her senior photo.
“If she (Spies) chooses to, the picture will run as her senior ad, not her senior portrait,” Trujillo said.
Despite the clarification from her peers into how and why the decision was made, a meeting Spies initiated between herself, her mother, and the school’s principal, Diane Lashinsky, was held today as planned.
“The editors all turned their backs on me and changed their minds,” she told the Herald. “I really do feel like they were intimidated by the principal.”
Neither Spies nor the school responded to ABCNews.com‘s requests for comments today on the meeting’s outcome.
The Durango School District, which oversees the high school, issued the following statement to ABCNews.com
“The editors of Durango High School’s yearbook informed a senior student in December that her photo in question would not be included as a senior portrait in the yearbook and asked her to submit a replacement.   Durango School District 9-R’s administration supports this decision.”
Prior to today’s meeting, the Spies family told local media they planned to meet with a civil lawyer in Denver to review their daughter’s case.

Book depicts tensions between first lady, aides


WASHINGTON (AP) – First lady Michelle Obama is a behind-the-scenes force in the White House whose opinions on policy and politics drew her into conflict with presidential advisers and who bristled at some of the demands and constraints of life as the president's wife, according to a detailed account of the first couple's relationship
New York Times reporter Jodi Kantor, in a book to be published Tuesday, portrays a White House where tensions developed between Mrs. Obama and former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and former press secretary and presidential adviser Robert Gibbs.
The Associated Press obtained a copy of the book, "The Obamas," Friday evening and The Times posted a 3,300-word adaption on its website that appeared to capture its most revealing accounts. The book is based on interviews with 30 current and former aides, though President Barack Obama and the first lady declined to be interviewed for the book.
The book portrays Mrs. Obama as having gone through an evolution from struggle to fulfillment in her role at the White House but all the while an "unrecognized force" in pursuing the president's goals.
She is seen publicly as the friendly and popular face of the softer side of the White House, the one reading to school kids or promoting exercise as a means to reduce child obesity.
According to Kantor, early in 2010 as the president's health care agenda seemed in danger of collapsing, Mrs. Obama let it be known she was annoyed by how the White House was handling the strategy. After media reports indicated Emanuel was unhappy pursuing the health care overhaul, Emanuel offered to resign, Kantor wrote. The president declined the offer.
By that spring, however, Kantor writes that Mrs. Obama "made it clear that she thought her husband needed a new team, according to her aides."
Among the book's most provocative anecdotes, Kantor recounts a scene in which Gibbs, frustrated after tamping down a potential public relations crisis involving the first lady, exploded when presidential adviser Valerie Jarrett told him the first lady had concerns about the White House response to the flap. The initial commotion had been over an alleged remark by Michelle Obama to French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy that living in the White House was "hell."
Gibbs cursed the first lady, who was absent. Kantor writes that Gibbs later said his anger was misplaced and that he blamed Jarrett for creating the confrontation. Kantor writes that Jarrett appeared to have been too quick with her criticism of Gibbs and that two aides to the first lady later said Jarrett had misspoken.
The White House had a cold reaction to the book, calling it an "over-dramatization of old news" and emphasizing that the first couple did not speak to the author, who last interviewed them for a magazine piece in 2009.
"The emotions, thoughts and private moments described in the book, though often seemingly ascribed to the president and first lady, reflect little more than the author's own thoughts," White House spokesman Eric Schultz said. "These secondhand accounts are staples of every administration in modern political history and often exaggerated."
The book, in an array of reconstructed anecdotes, depicts a first couple often wishing they could escape the confining White House life more freely; a president who at times gets deeply frustrated by how the press covers him; and a former chief of staff, Emanuel, who let loose with profane outbursts on staff members. All of those themes have been presented in some form in other publications.
One incident recalled that Jarrett used a phone aboard Air Force One to call a New York Times reporter. The reporter was pursuing a story about how Obama's West Wing was essentially a big boys' club, and Jarrett was calling to argue that the premise of a male-dominated operation was overblown. The book says even though Jarrett was the one making the call, it was Obama himself who was managing the response to the Times' story even before it came out by "personally dictating talking points to the aides who would speak to the reporter."
In another, the book describes how Obama, after winning a U.S. Senate seat and writing a best-selling book, "The Audacity of Hope," sought self-protection and privacy as he came to terms with his new fame. Some staffers came up with a word to describe times when the senator couldn't connect with people: "Barackward," a combination of "Barack" and "awkward."
But despite the White House pushback to the book, Kantor also includes many positive portrayals of both Obamas as committed parents and a down to earth power couple who have not lost their perspective.
Other revelations in the book:
— Mrs. Obama initially chafed at life in the White House and for a short period before the inauguration had even mulled staying in Chicago in 2009 at least until the two Obama daughters completed their school session.
— During the struggle to pass health care reform, Obama was committed to tackling the massive problem of rising health care costs despite the political costs. "Michelle and I are perfectly comfortable if we're only here one term if we feel like we really accomplished something," the book quotes the president as telling aides.
— Despite her reticence in 2010 to campaign during the midterm elections, the book says Mrs. Obama now has no qualms about 2012. "Michelle had been playing it safe, storing up political capital, and now she wanted to spend it all on her husband's re-election campaign."

Friday, January 6, 2012

U.S. Navy rescues Iranian sailors from pirates


A U.S. Navy ship in the northern Arabian Sea has rescued 13 Iranian sailors who had been held captive by pirates for several weeks, the Navy says in a statement.
The statement says the guided-missile destroyer USS Kidd on Thursday came upon a pirate skiff alongside the Iranian-flagged fishing vessel, the Al Molai, at about the same time that the master of the Iranian ship sent out a distress call claiming he was being held captive by pirates.
A team from the Kidd boarded the Al Molai and detained 15 suspected pirates who had apparently been holding the Iranian crew hostage for several weeks, the Navy says.
The statement says the pirates did not resist and quickly surrendered.
"The Al Molai had been taken over by pirates for roughly the last 40-45 days," said Josh Schminky, a Naval Criminal Investigative Service agent aboard the Kidd, the statement says. "They were held hostage, with limited rations, and we believe were forced against their will to assist the pirates with other piracy operations."
The pirates were transferred today to the USS John C. Stennis, pending further legal action.
"The captain of the Al Molai expressed his sincere gratitude that we came to assist them," Schminky said. "He was afraid that without our help, they could have been there for months."
CNN notes that Iranian officials, earlier this week, warned the United States over the presence of the Stennis in the area.
The state-run news agency IRNA quoted Maj. Gen. Ataollah Salehi as saying that Tehran was "ready to severely react against any threat" if the Stennis returned to the Persian Gulf, where it had been patrolling before moving to the Arabian Sea, according to U.S. officials, CNN reports.
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