Burn, baby, burn

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning, it smells like victory.” Violence has always been a part of our popular culture. It’s as much an American pastime as baseball, apple pie and scurrilous Wall Street money grubbing. But when the lines blur so easily, so seductively between entertainment and anger, sex and violence, perhaps it’s time for a new hobby.

I’ve been bothered by Eminem and Rihanna’s “Love the Way You Lie” video since it debuted last week. Actually, I’d been bothered by the song since it came out several weeks ago. Is her rapping about, wait, yes, he’s rapping about how he and his wife used to beat the shit out of each other. All righty then. Now, granted, it’s unmistakably catchy. Eminem has always had a way with a hook. Still the song also follows the musical gimmick du jour of having a pretty female vocalist sing a few pretty verses in between all the hip hop. (p.s. “Ghetto Supastar” called and wants its idea back. Oh, and then “Rapture” called and said, “Not so fast with the ‘your idea’ stuff, Pras and Mya.”) But that’s all peripheral when it comes to the video. This video.

The video with Eminem and Rihanna in front of a burning house and Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan burning said house down – metaphorically and plain old literally. The video that features two of the biggest celebrities with high-profile, highly volatile run-ins with domestic violence. The video that shows both Megan and Dominic hitting each other, making out with each other and, yes, catching ablaze with the passionate, crazy, angry intensity of their love for each other. Or is it hate? Whatever, have I mentioned it’s sexy?

The problem with “Love the Way You Lie” is not so much that it glorifies domestic violence as it wallows in the beauty of its rage. The video is pretty. It has Megan Fox and Rihanna, it can’t help but be pretty. The violence is, well, violence. But it’s also all-consuming, yearning and, yes, kind of beautiful. And therein lies the problem. Because through all the punched walls and tonsil hockey, Eminem also raps “If she ever tries to fucking leave again I’m going to tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.”

Which, I think we can all agree, is in no way beautiful. There’s too much sex in my violence. Love that burns the house down, that is the real lie.

Trench Coat Tuesday

So, clearly, it’s a Tuesday. And, yes, Tuesdays are for tank tops. But sometimes a gal needs to mix things up a bit. I figure other articles of clothing should be allowed to stop by every now and then for a visit. Like a timeshare of hotness. So today, the humble tank top makes way for the elegant trench coat. The iconic piece of clothing is as practical as it is promising. That great promise, of course, is simple: That there will be only smooth skin and sin waiting underneath. For example, on Naomi Watts the trench says both a) I’m wearing a jacket in case things get nippy on our car ride and b) I’m wearing nothing underneath to ensure things get nipply after our ride. See, change can be good, or bad – in the someone has been a very, very bad girl sense.

Emily DeschanelMy what nice, um, “Bones” structure you have. I know – groan.

Mariska HargitayIf you get flashed by a cop, who do you call? If it’s Mariska, everyone.

Kate WinsletCold outside, hot everywhere else.

Anna Torv

Just ignore Joshua Jackson, I do on “Fringe” anyway.

Megan FoxEver since she got canned from “Transformers 3,” I’ve liked her a lot more. A lot.

Jessica CapshawDear Shonda Rhimes: Next year, please consider incorporating a trench coat into next season’s mandatory Calzona make-up sex scenes. Just a thought.

Jodie Foster

See, you’ve forgotten all about dumb old tank tops already.