Dancing fool

Over the weekend, I had a bit of a technological freak out when I accidentally unplugged my iPhone in the middle of a software update. Pro Tip: Bad idea, really bad idea. That forced an entire system restore, which forced me to fret for three hours while everything reninstalled, which forced me to worry about how long it had been since my last backup, which forced me to think about what I could have lost on my phone. I was pretty sure I’d updated since returning from my vacation. But I wasn’t sure if I’d synched since Pride. Now, I’m sure at this point you’re thinking, “Snarker, where the fuck are you going with this?” And that’s a very good question.

Because where I’m going with this is that I also realized if I hadn’t synched since Pride, that might not be the worst thing in the world because then some somewhat incriminating dancing photos/videos might not be on my phone anymore. Because as enthusiastic as I can be about dancing given the right mix of atmosphere and adult beverages, I’m not entirely sure it’s something I should save for posterity. Yet, after my restore finished, I was oddly relieved to see that I had lost only two apps, and all of my photos and videos – even the embarrassing dancing ones – were back. Sometimes, dorky dancing can be more delightful than the most graceful, most beautiful choreography. Not cooler or sexier, mind you. But often more spontaneous and ecstatic. So in honor of my recovered cache, here is an ode to the joy of dorky dancing.

Buffy & Company

When the Scooby Gang dances, the world smiles. And often is saved.

Tina Fey

Liz Lemon, the best dorky dancer since Elaine Benes.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Of course, no one can top the original.

Amy Poehler

That’s 1,000 extra bonus cuteness points for you, Amy Poehler.

Paget Brewster

That settles it, I would like dancing Paget to be my spirit animal.

p.s. And, no, you cannot see my own dorky dancing videos. I said I was happy they were back, not that I wanted to share. I’m not crazy.

That final frontier

This is the story of how I accidentally became a sci-fi fan. I say accidentally because – truth be told – I never really liked sci-fi that much growing up. Sure, I loved “Star Wars.” But “Star Wars” isn’t so much science fiction as it is fairy tale complete with princesses, rouges, black-clad villains and teddy bears (the Ewoks were teddy bears, right?). I never got into “Star Trek” (please note, I am not denigrating “Star Trek.” Live long and prosper, Trekkers). Basically, I stayed away from almost every show with “Star” in the title. For some reason, I felt a little snobby about it. I like serious dramas. I don’t like silly science fiction.

And then it happened. Slowly, but surely, I started liking silly science fiction. First “The X-Files.” But I rationalized that away as more of an ongoing mystery than a sci-fi geekfest. And then “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” which while not actually sci-fi, does lump together with the larger world of fantasy. But the thing about Buffy was it wasn’t so much about the vampires as it was about the real monsters we face every day trying to make it to adulthood.

But then I just kept adding more sci-fi shows. “Fringe.” “Dr. Who.” “Dollhouse.” “Firefly.” “Torchwood.” “Lost Girl.” “Warehouse 13.”

What is it about these shows? Why do they interest me so? Well, in part, the fantasy. Time travel. Space travel. Immortal tendencies. Bisexual succubus tendencies. And, well, Myka and Helena’s gigantic lesbian tendencies. But, to be honest, it’s not so much the escape I crave. Because while good sci-fi can provide that with its laser blasters and mind erasers and blue police boxes, I think when done well what it really gives us is a chance to look with clear eyes at our own humanity. Something about adding little green men (or their metaphysical equivalent) allows us to step back from the ordinary, up-close messiness of life and just see our human race for what it is. Beautiful. Flawed. Crazy as all fuck.

And, just as important, I think science fiction is a genre that finally allows women to be on equal footing with men. Not all science fiction, mind you. But a lot, especially more recently. Women are allowed to be in charge. They’re allowed to be strong. They’re allowed to be important – essential even. Basically, they’re allowed to save the world. They’re very rarely just the girlfriend or just the best friend. They’re more often a secret agent or badass or both. And that, that is pretty damn awesome.

Gina Torres, a high priestess of science fiction badassery, famously praised the genre for giving actresses like her who don’t fit a mold a happy home:

“When you fall within the cracks, you thank God for sci-fi, because they’ll give you a gun, and they’ll say, ‘Go over there and conquer that world. You kick some ass, girl!’”

Go kick some ass, indeed. Bring it, sci-fi. I’m all yours.

Lights, camera, fanvids

One of the most amazing things about this crazy series of tubes we call The Internets is the creativity it can foster. And one of the easiest places to see this creativity in action is still our old friend YouTube. It’s also one of the easiest places to lose four hours of your life getting sucked into a fanvid black hole. But, oh. what a wondrous black hold that is. What has impressed me more and more recently is the quality of the fanvids. Seriously, you guys are getting damn good. Certainly, there’s a lot of just OK and possibly not so great to slog through too when searching for the really great stuff. But the great stuff is freaking great. Sophisticated color filters and cross cuts and dialogue overlays. Take it from a person who just now figured out how to make simple video clips, never mind any of the advanced-level fancy stuff. That takes skills. It’s like watching a whole future generation of cinematographers and film editors and director grow up before your eyes. And, most impressive of all, these hours and hours (if not days and days) of work is done not for the money or the glory – because heavens knows neither is readily attainable on the internet – but for the sheer love of the characters. Fanvids (and its close cousins fanart and fanfic) are fan love in its purest form. Fine, they’re also mildly obsessive. But, Jesus, isn’t all love?

A few recent favorites from a few of my favorite ships.

Brittana/Faberry, “Glee”

See, Brittana and Faberry fans can get along. In fact, we can help each other.

Rizzles, “Rizzoli & Isles”

Rizzoli & Isles as Cagney & Lacey. Just try not to smile.

Emily/Paige, “Pretty Little Liars”

Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t the only member of her household who mixes well with lesbian drama.

Naomily, “Skins”

Another slice of loveliness by the prodigiously talented Rin of Rophy Does.

Willow/Tara, “Buffy”

You never forget your first real ship.

Calzona, “Grey’s Anatomy”

Don’t even pretend there’s something in your eye except big, fat tears.

So, hit me with your fanvid favorites. Let’s see those budding lesbian Spielbergs so someday we can say, I remember when she was just making Brittana fanvids to post on YouTube.

Sweet Serenity

You guys, I am an idiot. No, really, much with the stupid. Last night I started watching “Firefly” for the first time thanks to its debut on the Science Channel. Sweet merciful Zeus, it’s so good. Don’t worry, I already slapped myself repeatedly for not watching sooner. What can I say about this show? It’s fun. It’s smart. It’s deceptively complex. It’s, in short, perfect Joss Whedon. I know, I know. You’re going to say: “Dude, you love Joss Whedon. You love Buffy. You never watched ‘Firefly?’” No, I never watched “Firefly.” I don’t have a great excuse except I tuned in only once originally and wasn’t much into the space cowboy thing at the time. I’m not huge into Westerns, period. Sure, I see the occasional one. Some are quite good. But, I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t really have a good excuse.

The thing is, I’ve watched pretty much everything else by Joss. Buffy. Angel. Dollhouse. Dr. Horrible. Hell, I even saw “Serenity” in the theater – on the opening weekend. And I liked it, a lot. But I never circled back because my list of “Stuff I Need to Watch…When I Have Time” is even more depressing than my email inbox. (Oh, and about that, I am really, really, really sorry for not writing you back yet. Yes, you.)

Still I have to saw watching it belatedly on TV (instead of an all-day boxset marathon or late-night download smorgasbord) is kind of thrilling. Sure, not as thrilling – or nearly as helpful, ratings wise – as if I had watched in real-time when it was actually on the air. But gosh if it isn’t kind of fun to be able to watch it in weekly installments. Also, as terrible as it is knowing in advance that the show only lasted one season, my back-logged brain feels a tiny bit relieved about adding it to my schedule knowing there are only 14 episodes to watch (well, now 12). That’s what I call a manageable commitment.

So now, now to the good stuff. First, I’m thrilled that it looks like the Science Channel is airing the episodes in order, instead of all over the place like Fox did originally. How the hell could they have aired “The Train Job” instead of “Serenity” as the pilot? Hey, here’s a good idea. Let’s not introduce the characters or frame the conflict or lay out the premise. Let’s just make sure there’s a train heist. Oh, Fox.

While I’ll admit it takes a little bit to adjust to the gunslinger attitude and, yes, the fiddle music, all of the required Whedonverse elements are there. A morally resolute, yet at times deeply conflicted hero (Mal, Captain Tightpants himself). A strong female lead (Zoe, the glorious Gina Torres who has popped up in just about every TV show I have ever watched from “Xena” to “Angel” to “Pushing Daisies” to “The Vampire Diaries”). An adorable geek (Kaylee, who when she was shot in the pilot made me flash to every single time Willow was in mortal danger). And just enough Joss-speak to make it all funny and poignant and really compelling as hell.

Also, and I haven’t done my Google research, but is there a ‘ship between Inara and Kaylee? Come on, how great are they together? I must say I prefer Morena Baccarin with long, wavy hair to her short, alien crop on “V.” Nothing against short crops, in the least, but on Morena with long hair is just so, well, dreamy.

So, after an appropriate period of yelling at me for not have watching when it mattered most, who wants to watch “Firefly” this go around with me? Sundays at 10 p.m. on the Science Channel. It’s a date. Now all I need to find is a good browncoat.

This slays me

So last night, in a moment of weakness and because nothing else was on TV and it was a free preview weekend for Showtime, I cracked and finally watched “Twilight.” I’d resisted watching a single “Twilight” movie for more than two full years. Of course, I heard all about them. Unless you lived in a cave (without cable service or the internet service or subscription service to “Entertainment Weekly”), it was impossible to ignore the phenomena. But until last night I’d just scoffed on principle. Now, well, now I feel I can scoff with authority. It’s not necessarily that I thought “Twilight” was terrible – I take it back, every time Bella and Edward spoke to each other it was terrible. It’s just that it’s such an outmoded kind of love story. Really, the weak girl needs a strong man to protect her? Really, stalking as a form of romantic courtship? Really, “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin,” really? Whuck?

I guess what “Twilight” really does is make me miss “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” even more. Because instead of being about a fragile girl and her gallant, broody vampire protector, it was the story of a gallant girl who protected the world and, OK, occasionally dated broody vampires. But at least none of her vampire boyfriends sparkled in the sun like a sullen disco ball. Buffy also had Willow and Xander. And Willow had Tara and extra flamey candles. It also has the L Word (Lllll-esbians!) and the F Word (Fffff-eminism) and the P Word (Ppppp-op culture zingers!) I need to go pull out my DVDs immediately and hug them tight.

I know it’s unfair to compare “Buffy” and “Twilight,” really. One is about a romance set to appeal to teen girls and people’s inner teen girl and the other is about subverting of all those teen girl romances and carving its own path. But just in case those of you watching at home had forgotten, Buffy is better. And all those teenage girls sleeping soundly on their Team Edward or Team Jacob pillows should instead be sleeping under a big Team Buffy comforter. Because that’s the real stuff dreams are made of. Also – come on – Buffy would clean the floor with Edward. Seriously, not even close.

In Joss we trust

No. Wrong. Madness. Horror. Abomination. END TIMES.

Right, so, possibly an overreaction but, if you really think about it, not really. News of the Joss Whedon-less “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” reboot made The Internets mad yesterday. Really, really, really mad. It made me mad, too. Like really, really, really mad. But also, kind of sad.

Why disrespect the man who created, tended to and lovingly developed a much-adored, much-respected, much-idolized series like this? Why put the screenplay in the hands of an inexperienced young screenwriter with no films to her credit? Why insult a loyal fan base who sustained a small series and turned it into an iconic cultural touchstone? Why, in short, be such utter dickheads?

There’s no good reason (really, I can’t think of a single one one) to go ahead with a “Buffy” movie without Joss Whedon or, at the very and most ridiculously bare of minimums, his blessing. But this has neither. So this is just a transparent attempt at money grubbing because someone with the legal rights realized, “Hey, this teenage vampire thing has really taken off. Wait, we own a teenage vampire thing. CHA-CHING.”

Well, you’ve vastly misjudged us Buffy fans. We were never in it for the fad. We were never in it for the sparkly vampires. We were in it for Joss’s vision. We trusted his vision. We believed in his heart. He has earned that.

I’m still so sad he isn’t writing the “Wonder Woman” movie, too.

p.s. Find a much more exhaustive, slightly less emotional take on this Buffy reboot stake to the heart over at AfterEllen later today.

p.p.s. This post is really just a very elaborate way for me to show off one of my most prized possessions. Yes, that’s a signed script of “The Body” by all the Buffy writers. Yes, it’s awesome.