Tank Top Tuesday

So the dog days are definitely here. July threw down a sweltering gauntlet and I’ve never known August as a month to back down from a challenge. I expect sun. I expect warmth. Basically, I expect to sweat. So, then, what’s a gal – like poor, sweaty, sticky, glistening Gillian Anderson – supposed to do to beat the heat? Well, for one, a tank top helps. But I’m sure I can do better in the helpful advice department. What can I say? I’m a giver.

Emily DeschanelSpending a day at the beach is always a cool option.

Ashley GreenePulling at one’s clothing will help unstick them from your body.

Helen MirrenSitting near an open window will help you catch a breeze.

Katee Sackhoff & Tricia HelferRiding a motorcycle will really help you catch a breeze.

Michelle Rodriguez & companionSharing a cold beverage with a friend will cool down your core.

BeyoncéWearing short-shorts will cool your lower body.

Sigourney WeaverWearing just your skivvies will cool your whole body.

Carla Gugino

Jumping into the pool will bring down your temperature instantly.

Ashleigh Sumner, Cathy DeBuono & Jill BennettWhen all else fails, just make things hotter.
[Via “And Then Came Lola.”]

So, there you have it. Some simple, fool-proof ways to keep cool this August. Or was that hot? Either way, always wear a tank top.

Stealth bomb(shells)

So last week during the TCAs one of the big “reveals” was that Sara Gilbert is gay. Of course, it wasn’t really a reveal. She’s been quietly out for years. She has a partner, they have kids, the whole nine. So it’s kind of a duh. But in another way, it’s also a reminder. Sara is one of those stars I always blank on the fact that they’re gay. She’s a stealth gay. Not that she is being stealthy about it, not in the least. But for whatever reason I always forget, at first, that she is family. There are actually quite a few celebrities that fall into that category for me. And that means I don’t write about them that often. Well, no more. I’ve taken my Ginkgo Biloba, so let’s celebrate at the stealth celesbians among us.

Sara Gilbert, The TalkI’m not sure if I’ll watch her new all-mom talk show, but I do think she is one cool mom.

Kirsten Vangsness, Criminal MindsI’m actually kind of mad at Kristen because she is going to be on both Criminal Minds and the new Criminal Minds:Suspect Behavior. Which means, because I love little punky Penelope Garcia so much, I’ll have to add yet another show to my overflowing schedule.

Jasika Nicole, FringeHer character is so cute with Walter. Seriously, they could do a whole sitcom together.

Heather MatarazzoSome think of her as the Merkin, but she’ll always be Weinerdog to me. But either way, she sure looks good with her fiancée (or is it wife now, anyone know?)

Tracy ChapmanI hear she’s been stealth dating Guinevere Turner, too. Sneaky, sneaky.

Saffron Burrows, Law & Order: Criminal IntentSpeaking of stealthy, I don’t know if she is still with Fiona Shaw, but I certainly hope so.

My Weekend Crush

You know, at first I wasn’t that into “Nikita.” Sure, the rogue assassin series reboot for the CW features one of my favorite TV archetypes: The hot girl who kicks ass. Still for whatever reason I just didn’t feel that excited. I think it’s because the CW is known more for hot gossip than killer action. But that was before I found out Maggie Q’s tattoos are real. Yes, real. Dude. Of course, I should have been on the bandwagon from the start. Asian girls got to represent. But to be honest all I knew about her was that she was in that “Mission: Impossible” threequel I never saw and had done work in Hong Kong. Well, welcome home, Ms. Quigley.

After reading about how at the TCAs and Comic-Con Maggie utterly charmed the assembled TV critics (a notoriously cranky and hard to charm bunch), I now more than impressed. Like when onstage at Comic-Con she joked about hanging out with all the other CW stars: “You can’t imagine how good looking it is backstage. I had to push the A-cups up a little.” And then at the TCA she commented on how people always think Asians automatically knows kung fu: “Yes, we wake up and do kung fu, then we brush our teeth.” And, just in case she hadn’t made all the gay gals absolutely swoon yet, she also said: “I like to wear less makeup and be tougher. (Dressing up is) exciting for people, but it’s less exciting for me.” All that and those tattoos. Sign me up, I’m in. So in. Happy weekend, all.

Family ties

It’s happening! It’s really happening! It’s like the skies have opened up! It’s like the heavens are weeping – WITH JOY! The Meryl Streep/Tina Fey mother-daughter movie is happening. Sony has optioned the package, which is still in the treatment stage. But who needs a full script when you have Meryl, Tina and Stanley Tucci directing? This news is so momentous, I feel like it should be a national holiday. I feel like this should be celebrated in song. Can anyone sculpt? I feel like a statue is in order. Also, is it too early to start standing in line for my ticket?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the tentatively titled “Mommy & Me” will “spotlights the thorny and funny sides of mother-daughter relationships.” But, hell, it can spotlight whatever it wants. It’s Tina Fey. It’s Meryl Streep. If they read the phone book together for 90 minutes I’d still watch devotedly while chomping down on a tub of popcorn. In fact, the only way this movie could be more awesome is if Helen Mirren signed on to play Meryl’s lesbian lover. Oh, and then Lena Headey signed on to play Tina’s lesbian lover. What? We’re dreaming big here, people. BIG.

Kiss me Kate

Oh hai, Sarah Shahi, we’ve missed you. So yesterday everyone’s favorite former fake DJ/jilted bride got verified on Twitter. Apparently she’s been tweeting up a storm from the Vancouver set of her new USA show “Facing Kate.” And she has also been trying to get for former fake happy naked times friend to tweet her back. It’s kind of adorable.

Now, clearly, in her last post I replaced the word “tweet” with another verb in my head. An action verb. A naughty action verb. What? You know you did, too. Need a visual? Scroll down.

[NSFW, also NSFAllFutureProductivity because you will stare at this for the rest of the day and accomplish nothing else. Possibly ever. Fair warning.]

Right. So there’s that. Of course there will more than likely be considerably less impromptu kitchen table striptease moments on her new show. She plays an attorney who leaves the high profile world of law behind to become a mediator. No official pictures have been released yet (but the TCAs are this week, so fingers crossed). Sarah has tweeted photos from the set and her trailer.

That last one is part of a protest to get offshore drilling dropped by the Oceana organization. I just want to hug her, and possibly a dolphin. Sarah is an amazing mix of hot and adorable. Hotable? Adorot? Even more hotable (yeah, I went with that one) is that she misses us back. See.

At this point you’re probably scanning your TV and trying to set your DVR for her return. Well, we still have to wait until November. Until then why don’t we entertain ourselves with thoughts of possibly the greatest yet-to-be-developed Sarah Shahi show of all time: “Facing Kate Moennig.”

Looking for a little action, ladies?

I’m in kind of a tough girl phase right now. Well, it’s not really a phase. I mean, we can’t help who we like, right? I’m really feeling the lady bad asses. Perhaps it was “Salt,” which I enjoyed immensely. Angelina once famously said she wanted to be Bond, not a Bond girl and boy did she ever deliver. Asses kicked, not stirred. The ERA of action has been long overdue. Sure, we’ve had the Founding Mothers of Bad Assery: Sigourney, Linda, Action Angie. But there’s always room for more. So let’s take a look at some recent contenders.

Now, I have no idea what is happening in this trailer for “Sucker Punch.” Young women in crazy school girl outfits going all Mortal Kombat on an assortment of baddies (Samurai soldiers, Nazis, dragons!). I think it has something to do with a girl being taken to an insane asylum to be lobotomized. But plot schmot, who wants some eye candy?

[Hat tip, Ellen!]

Now, what this next clip lacks in special effects, it more than makes up with literary pedigree. If this gets made into a movie I demand Kiera Knightley and Kate Winslet star, with Emma Thompson in a supervisory role. Referee, perhaps? And, FIGHT!

And, finally, this clip involves no fisticuffs, automatic weapons or heavy artillery. But just listen to Ellen Page’s answer to the question: Who would you like to perform Inception on? Now that’s a bad ass.

You don’t have to use your fists to be tough, ladies. Your brain will do just fine.

Tough it out

Michelle Rodriguez is many things. Tough. Resilient. Smoking hot in a tank top. But what she isn’t too often on screen is alive. Her characters have the unfortunate tendency to end up dead. How dead and how often? Well, off the top of my head:

Resident Evil – Dead
BloodRayne – Dead
Lost – Dead
Fast & Furious – Dead
Avatar – Dead

So, that’s a lot of resting in pieces. Now, Michelle has her own thoughts on why this keeps happening. She told io9.com at Comic-Con:

“Because I don’t take my clothes off, and I'm nobody’s girlfriend. The writers are new to the whole tough girl thing, and they don’t know what to do with [me]. We’ve got the dude who’s strong, so what do we do with the chick who’s strong? We kill her. Eventually they’ll get used to it, and maybe Salt will change a thing or two.”

Now, I haven’t always agreed with Michelle on everything, but right here she is right on the money. Hollywood doesn’t know what to do with the tough girl. And women who consistently play tough, well they really don’t know what to do with them. Oh, wait, they do – kill them.

Michelle was also her delightfully colorful and non-PC self again when speaking with The Playlist at Comic-Con. [Hat tip, Norma Desmond!] When asked about being typecast as “The Tough Girl,” she let loose. Witness.

“Oh baby, I was typecast the minute I did a film called, 'Girlfight' years ago. That has nothing to do with anything, it just to do with... you allow yourself to be typecast. If I decided I didn’t want to be typecast tomorrow I’d just go do an indie film where I play some poor girl who goes through some excruciating experience and win myself an award for crying or being raped [breaks into laughter] or playing someone with mental illness. But at the end of the day I’m not in it for the acting. If I were in it for the acting then I would be worried about people not giving me the opportunity to express my vast array of emotions on the screen.

I could give two shits. I only wanna be someone or I respect or someone that I consider interesting or fun. I’m here to entertain people and make a statement about female empowerment and strength and that’s what I've done for the last 10 years, and people can call it typecast, but I pigeonholed myself and I put myself in that box for saying no to everything else that came on my plate. Saying no to the girlfriend, saying no to the girl that gets captured, no to this, no to that and eventually I just got left with the strong chick that’s always being killed and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Nope, Michelle, nothing at all. Well, except for the dead part. Those are some mighty big swipes she is taking, but I would expect nothing less from an actor who says she isn’t in it for the acting. So how about letting the strong chick live instead? Come on, Hollywood, are you ready to be strong?