My Weekend Crush

The best adjective I can think of to describe Julianne Moore is womanly. Now, I don’t mean this in any sort of outmoded domestic or pejoratively girlie way. I mean it in the way that her face, with its elegant concaves and sweeping curves, reminds me of everything that I love about women. That hair, those freckles – I could stare at them forever. Still, the most astounding thing about Ms. Moore is that she seems to be growing more beautiful with age. In fact, today is her 50th birthday and I have to say she has never looked more lovely. Her features seem to be both focusing and mellowing at the same time. It’s delicious.

Also delicious is Julianne’s obvious openness to playing gay. She has been not once, not twice, not even three times, but four times a lesbian lady for the big screen in “The Hours,” “The Private Lives of Pippa Lee,” “Chloe” and “The Kids Are All Right.” Throughout her career she has been drawn more to the complicated, messy character studies than neat, mainstream popcorn pulp. The results aren’t always perfect, but they are usually pretty interesting. And even if they’re not, well, we always have that glorious face to make everything seem better than all right. Happy weekend, all.

Oh, fudge it

My apologies. I had my hands full last night wrangling Padma Lakshmi & Co. for my “Top Chef All-Stars” recap for AfterEllen later today. And then my laptop came down with a nasty virus that delayed everything this morning. Oh, December, already with the illnesses. Now, I know I talk a lot about my mmm, Padma, Mmm. But she is, of course, not the only Kitchen Goddess I worship. I also like to lay sweet, chocolatey offerings at the feet (well, actually bosom) of the simply scrumptious Nigella Lawson. The thing that is so wonderful about Nigella (besides, clearly, that bosom) is her unfettered embrace of the concept of food porn. No one licks chocolate off a slotted spoon like Nigella. I mean, who else can make pouring condensed milk deliciously obscene? So, with that, please enjoy Nigella making chocolate pistachio fudge. If that doesn’t put you in the, um, holiday spirit, nothing will.

p.s. OK, for the hold outs, here is something else to lift those, um, spirits. You’re welcome.

Why don't you come on over

Now, the other day some of you seemed seriously perplexed at my lack of Brittana/Heya in the SGALGG co-workers post. But come on, kittens, you know I love me some Brittana. I mean I really, really love them. Like more than a person my age should. Like the breakdown of why I watch “Glee” is 50 percent Brittana, 40 percent Jane Fucking Lynch, 9 percent Kurt and 1 percent everyone else. Which, of course, is why this Brittany/Artie pairing (Bartie, or more accurately, Barfie) is starting to really piss me off. They make no sense – none. Brittany hit on Artie to make Santana jealous. Artie still likes Tina. Artie and Brittany have less than zero in common. Remember the no-no boobies finger? You only deny the ones you love. And how could we forget the intertwined pinky fingers? Never, that’s how. And then this episode gave us the all-powerful beckoning finger. Oh, Santana Lopez, what you can do with just one little finger.

[Hat tip, stace_ for finding The Beckoning gif!]

You know, I don’t expect a lot from “Glee.” I mean, I do I expect ridiculously elaborate musical numbers, out-of-nowhere character developments and the continued creepification of Mr. Shue. I watch it for fun and escapism and jazz hands, as I’ve said so many times before. But sometimes, just sometimes, I hope against hope that “Glee” can be more. It has done more, particularly with Kurt (though, come on guys, give that poor kid a boyfriend already). So why not let Brittana be that for the gals, too? Why force them into awkward and unnecessary straight pairings? I mean, Santana and Puck at least make a little sense. They’re both just hot and horny teenagers. But Brittany and Artie? That’s just a deliberate poke in the eye. Look, Ryan Murphy, I know you know that us gay ladies can be sustained on subtext alone for seemingly forever. We’re use to table scraps and sweeps month smooches. But that doesn’t mean that’s all you have to give us. We deserve more, so much more. Though, I am grateful for the ass slap.

Come on, Mr. Murphy, we’ve been very good this year. I think we deserve a big box of Brittana in our stocking this year.

Baby, it's cold outside

Wow, tomorrow is December. I know this because I’ve switched to a long-sleeve sleep shirt and can no longer wear flip flops while running out to the grocery store (hey, it’s California, after all). Now, certain things about December always bum me out. The fact that it’s pitch black by 5:30 p.m. The fact that I’m assaulted by cloying holiday muzak everywhere I go. The fact that it’s the last month for me to cram in all the resolutions I failed to accomplish during the year. But other things about December always make me smile. The fact that I can finally drink hot cocoa (Hey, it’s California, it’s too damn hot here most of the time). The fact that cuddling on the sofa under a blanket it considered a perfectly acceptable recreational activity. The fact that I can watch all my favorite winter movies. Now, these aren’t just holiday movies. I mean, I watch “It’s a Wonderful Life,” every year like everyone else. But these are those seasonal treats that only seem right when there’s a chill in the air. So pour some hot cocoa, grab a fluffy blanket and come cuddle on the couch. It’s movie time.

Love ActuallyNecessary actually. In fact, with all due respect to Frank Capra, this is my favorite holiday movie, period. Every time Snape makes Ms. Trelawney cry, I start bawling. Though I’m glad to see the poor lovelorn best friend has finally moved on from pining for Keira Knightley and is now happily fighting zombies.

FargoAs soon as Marge Gunderson said “So, you were havin’ sex with the little fellow, then,” I knew I’d love Frances McDormand forever. Admit it, nothing says happy holidays like a foot sticking out of the wood chipper.

Doctor ZhivagoJulie Christie! Omar Sharif! Snow! Romance! Fur hats! (Normally, I’m really against fur. But it was the dead of winter during the Russian Revolution. So I’ll cut them some slack.)

The Cutting EdgeToe pick! This is my 100 percent, No. 1, favorite, if-it’s-on-I-must-watch, guilt pleasure winter movie of all time. I can’t tell you how many incredibly mediocre 90s movies I sat through because of my subsequent love of Moira Kelly.

So, let’s have it. Share your favorite winter movies. Though if you say “The Shining,” I’m going to have to seriously reassess sharing my blanket with you. And, for those of you preparing nativity scenes this season, remember that there was, indeed, more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus. Merry December, everyone.

SGALGG: Co-Worker Edition

It’s that time of year again for office potlucks and parties. That means hours of awkward socialization with your coworkers and watching your boss get sauced while hit on the receptionist. For the love of God, someone spike the eggnog so we can make it through the holiday season. But informal interactions with your colleagues doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable exercise in stilted small talk. In fact, it could be downright enjoyable. Of course, the level of enjoyability is greatly dependent on who your co-workers are. I mean, these co-workers certainly seem friendly. And when I say “friendly,” I mean like Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Let Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn, circa “She-Devil” “Death Becomes Her” (mixed up my late 80s-early 90s wacky Meryl Streep comedies) show you the way to workplace bliss. She ain’t heavy, she’s my co-worker.

Alison Brie & Gillian Jacobs, “Community”Alison tweeted that this was her preferred reading position. “Reading,” so that’s what the kids are calling it today.

Maggie Q & Lyndsy Fonseca, “Nikita”Lyndsy looks like she is blushing from Maggie whispering a passage from some particularly explicit Nikita/Alex fanfic she found online. What? I can’t be the only one who ships this, right? I mean, have you seen how many tank tops they wear?

Lena Headey & Summer Glau, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”Speaking of tank tops, this show was none too shabby about getting its stars in them whenever possible.

Emily Blunt & Amy Adams, “Sunshine Cleaning”Sure, they played sisters. But that body language isn’t sisterly. Just sayin’.

Blake Lively & Leighton Meester, “Gossip Girl”It’s the old “let’s compare hand sizes”-move. Nice.

Feist & Emily Haines, Broken Social SceneIndie Rock Goddess Powers activate.

Audra McDonald & Anne Hathaway, “Twelfth Night”So much Shakespearean swoon is happening in this picture, it almost needs footnotes.

Chloe Sevigny & Ginnifer Goodwin, “Big Love”Bill Paxton who?

Jill Biden & Michelle ObamaThey make a very nice couple. No, really, I mean that. That look Michelle is giving Jill says maybe she does, too.

Naya Rivera & Dianna Agron, “Glee”Quintana, is that a thing?

Dianna Agron & Lea Michele, “Glee”Now I know Faberry/Achele is a thing. And by “thing” I mean what I replace all Quinn/Sam or Rachel/Finn scenes with in my head.

My Weekend Crush

I can say when I’m wrong. I’m a big girl. I make mistakes. I misjudge. I prejudge. I can have judgey issues. But when I’m wrong, I’m wrong and I’ll happily call myself on it. And I was wrong about Jessica Capshaw on “Grey’s Anatomy.” Not that I was against her as a person, per se, but I was against the idea of her as a replacement for the dearly departed into The Parking Lot of No Return Brooke Smith. That sort of inconsistent, out-of-nowhere narrative always drives me nuts. At the time it felt like the all-too familiar upgrade to a younger, hotter model. But time has a way of doing its thing with wounds. And Jessica, well, she has been impossible to dislike on “Grey’s.”

I still don’t really watch “Grey’s.” I’ve cut medical dramas (yes, you too, “House) out of my repertoire this year and so I only keep track in occasional late-night YouTube Calzona binges. But I know that they’re good together, and I know that’s a credit to Jessica. What came across as youthful eagerness in her role as poor T&A Nadia on “The L Word” has evolved into mature confidence as Arizona on “Grey’s.” Her Arizona is tough yet tender, secure yet sexy. While I normally loathe to use the word perky, she is a charming perky. She and Callie fit, they make sense (unlike their crazy airport breakup, but that’s a whole other story). So whenever that big smile breaks out over Jessica’s heart-shaped face, well, I’ve never felt better about being wrong about something in my life. She is a good man in a storm, that one. Happy weekend, all.

“I have just met you and I love you”

I knew I loved Pixar for a reason. On Monday the fine folks at Pixar released an It Gets Better Video. Two things about the video. 1) You will probably cry. 2) You might want to also get the phone numbers of all of the cute lesbians who work there. Seriously, that place is just brimming with gay ladies. Now, I’ve watched a lot of these videos. They’re all wonderful and touching in their own way. But I think the Pixar one is especially so because these are the people who make some of my favorite movies. The movies I turn to when I need instant perking up. The movies I carry around with me on my iPhone. “Finding Nemo,” “WALL-E” and “Imagine Me & You” as the three movies I always have with me in my pocket everywhere I go. So that connection, coupled with that kind of honesty and empathy from the people behind the pictures, well that’s going to put a lump in my throat every single time. But in the best possible way, you know, like a Pixar movies. Here are a few of my favorite Pixar moments, which make me smile and feel better, no matter what.

“Just keep swimming.”


“Ta-da!”


“I was hiding under the porch because I love you.”


Finally, my guaranteed mood lifter. Why, yes, I do speak whale.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.