Prime of life

Maria Bello is kind of like lesbian catnip. You can go for days, months, possibly even years without thinking about her and then the minute she is in front of you again you go a completely mad with excitement. How is this woman so delicious? It’s not just that she is beautiful, which she is. She is so beautiful, and age has only had her face more interesting and expressive. But it’s that she seems so capable. Lesbians love a capable lady. That doesn’t mean she has to know how to change her own oil or level a doorframe. But she knows exactly who to call to do it, and will supervise carefully. Helpless is not something she can really play. And, man, is that sexy. It is grown-up sexy personified. Leave the damsels in their various states of distress to the white knights of the world. I’ll take a lady who knows what she’s doing instead any and every day.

I think that’s what makes her so good in “Prime Suspect.” Her Det. Jane Timoney is infinitely capable. That doesn’t mean she’s somehow supernaturally gifted – she just pays attention and works harder than anyone else in the room. It’s what makes real people good at their jobs. It’s why she seems so believable in hers. This isn’t to say that her good detective is perfect – that would be boring. She has her issues and isn’t the least bit worried about making nice. But I like that. Also I like the clothes they’re putting her in for the show. They’re not your standard-issue lady cop suits. They’ve got more flare without being overly butch or overly femme. Of course, I’m a sucker for a lady who knows how to lean. She leans great.

Also, when she needs to, fucking hell can Maria bring the sexy. Like I was saying, I love a lady who knows what she’s doing. And she can definitely, definitely leave her hat on.

You can read my Prime Suspect SnapCaps every Friday on AfterEllen. You are, of course, perfectly welcome to keep staring slack-jawed at these pictures until then. Hey, honey, you’re drooling.

TV, take me away

Right, so I’m watching a lot of TV this season. Fine, I watch a lot of TV every season. But this season I’m watching it with slightly more productive intentions. As I’ve already mentioned, I’m going to be writing SnapCaps (short, snappy recaps) on AfterEllen for “Lost Girl.” The second one went up yesterday. In addition, I’ll be SnapCapping “Ringer” (second one is up today) and “Prime Suspect” (it airs Thursdays, Snap Caps will post Fridays). That’s a lot of writing about TV. It’s tricky writing about new shows because, well, they’re new and as we’re trying to figure them out they’re trying to figure themselves out. So, to summarize, I’m a busy girl sitting on my couch, per usual.

Of course, this being the new TV season, I’m also trying out a lot of show I’m not writing about either. So far I’ve sampled three other new shows: “The Secret Circle” (“The Craft,” but with less goth accessories), “2 Broke Girls” (I laughed more than I expected to, in spite of myself) and “New Girl” (Let’s face it, Zooey Deschanel is the draw here, I could give a flip about her three male roommates). I am on the fence about “Up All Night,” because while I love the cast another show about parenting being crazy really is not on this gal’s big gay agenda. And the reviews of “Charlie’s Angels” are worse than the reviews of “Bionic Woman,” and we all know how well that show went. I’ve also decided against “The Playboy Club” (even with the real and the pretend gay bunnies) and “Pan Am” because even if you put it in a nice 60s suit and beautiful retro dress, sexism isn’t really my favorite thing to watch on TV. (p.s. On that note, I’m glad to hear the makers of “Prime Suspect” have decided to veers away from the blatant sexism in the pilot after this week.) There are a handful of other shows I’m considering adding to my dance card, but considering the returning shows I already watch, that’s a really freaking full dance card.

I guess all of this is a long and somewhat winded (though mostly because I’m out of shape from sitting on my couch and watching all this TV) way of saying I hope you’ll watch TV along with me this season and share your thoughts on all the shows I’ll both be SnapCapping and any other shows that catch your eye. But just because it’s a new season don’t think for a second I’ve forgotten about old friends. Yes, kittens, I miss Jane and Maura, too. But don’t worry. They’ll be back for five more in November. Until then, please enjoy Det. Rizzoli’s new (and very NSFW) ringtone for Dr. Isles.

EDIT: Every once in a while, actual comments get caught in the automatic Blogger spam filter. This usually happens with comments that contain dirty words or are really long. I hardly check the filter, because frankly I forget it is there. But, rest assured, I do not delete any comments (save for obvious spam or blatant hate speech). Also, this post is about scripted shows. Though I did watch DWTS and commented on it quite a bit on my Twitter feed. So follow me there for my thoughts on DWTS.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know how that Tuesday after a vacation can be even worse than the Monday after a vacation because Tuesday is the day it actually sets in that, “Dammit, I’m really going to have to be here all week.” So, naturally, I’ve turned to tank tops to soften the blow. Oh, tank tops. You never fail me.

Maria Bello

I don’t love the promos for “Prime Suspect,” but I do love Maria. So, you know, sold.

Heather MorrisI am suddenly irrationally jealous of that volleyball net, and that pole. Possibly the sand.

Lynn ChenSure, we’re all still in love with Michelle. But of course we fell for Lynn, too. She taught us to fall, after all.

Gillian AndersonScully is working on her fitness. Your argument is invalid.

Rashida JonesIf I promise to keep posting pictures of Rashida in a tank top, will you promise to watch “Parks and Recreations?”

Katie McGrathYou can’t really see much of her tank top here. I’m surprisingly OK with that.

Annie LennoxThat amount of cool should be bottled and sold in stores.

Missy PeregrymI have long forgotten the plot of “Stick It,” but I will never forget those abs.

Joanne KellyHave you ever wondered what a young Agent Myka Bering would look like in a tank top by a campfire? Well, now you know.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Leave Your Hat On

Hey, remember how much you all loved that picture of Hayley Atwell wearing a hat? You know the one, with the suspenders. And the tongue. Fine, OK, and the tank top. Yep, now you remember. Well, Hayley’s jaunty little chapeau got me thinking. Women should wear more hats. No, not like those crazy Kentucky Derby battleship headpieces or those even crazier royal wedding ornamental antler displays. I mean more traditional hats. Your fedoras. Your newsboy caps. Heck, even your top hats. If I wanted to wear a peacock on my head, I’d wear a peacock. But when I want to wear a hat, I wear a fucking hat. Like Queen B above, and these fine ladies below.

Evangeline LillyBeing stuck on that island all those years really robbed us of valuable time we could have been watching Evangeline wearing a tux and fedora.



Jennifer Jason LeighRemember back in the 90s when every movie either starred Jennifer Jason Leigh or Bridget Fonda, sometimes both?



Keeley HawesOh, Kitty, Kitty. You terrible, terrible heartbreaker.



Maria BelloIn the new “Prime Suspect” remake, the big controversy so far isn’t that she’s filling in for the formidable Helen Mirren – it’s that she wears that fedora.



Joan as Police WomanObligatory joke about how if she was a real police woman, I’d let her cuff me any day.



Audrey TautouIf Coco Chanel really made suits like this for women, I would so buy one. OK, not really. I’m a writer and couldn’t afford one. But I’d covet one, that’s for sure.



JD SamsonWho knows, maybe the garrison cap will make a comeback after.



Piper PeraboThey should make her wear more hats on “Covert Affairs.” Yep, definitely more hats.



Marlene Dietrich



Women, men, animals, minerals – take note. Now that’s how you wear a fucking hat.

SGALGG: Hands! Hands! Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? A little Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. But I feel positively inspired after seeing all those soccer stars hug each other with their legs in sportsmanship. So now, how about celebrating when the ladies get handsy? Like Chyler Leigh and Mia Kirshner. Seeing Little Grey and Crazy Jenny go all Girls Gone Wild is, um, interesting. Yes, interesting. That’s my predominant emotion right now. Interest. So in the interest of being interested, I thought I’d let some SGALGG fingers do the walking and celebrate some more-than friendly hand placements. As Willow said to Vamp Willow: Hands! Hands!

Michelle Williams & friendHand holding, the basics never go out of style.

Maria Bello & Mariska HargitayHugging, also a classic.

Blake Lively & Leighton MeesterThe old, subtle let’s compare hands trick.

Thora Birch & Mena Suvari Though, subtlety can be overrated.

Laura Harring & Naomi WattsI’m still not entirely sure what “Mulholland Dr.” was all about. But I sure liked it when they kissed.

Emily Haines & FeistAfter a few drinks, arm wrestling always seems like a good idea.

Kate Bosworth & Zoe SaldanaIt’s not Kate’s hand around her waist as much as the hand reaching down for Zoe’s other hand that makes this so, well, yum.

Jessica Alba & Kate HudsonIn my head, she’s doing the opposite of holding Kate’s dress down. My head is a good place sometimes.

Minka Kelly & Minka KellyI don’t know why, but all of a sudden that Divinyls song “I Touch Myself” is running through my head.

Annie Wersching & Angie HarmonOne hand precariously high on Annie’s waist, the other on her gun. Yep, super duper straight.

Speaking of super duper straight, here are Angie Harmon & Sasha Alexander in their new TV Guide photoshoot. Clearly, I need to make more straight female friends immediately.